Vulnerability is Power

How being vulnerable challenges us to tell our truth and gives us the power to overcome obstacles and take control of our lives.

What does it mean to be vulnerable?

Is vulnerability the same as weakness?

I struggled with these questions for a long time.

Like most others, my life has been a mixture of uphill battles and hardship, privilege and crazy, beautiful memories that are all mine.

As a kid, I spent a lot of time suppressing my emotions related to the challenges I faced every day. I internalized my anger and my sadness and portrayed an image of pure joy. Maybe this was because I didn’t want anyone to know about my life’s imperfections, or maybe it was more so because I didn’t know how to externalize my feelings in a way that would ever make sense—even to me.

I struggled with the concept of vulnerability because being vulnerable meant being honest with not only those around me, but also with myself and for the longest time, I didn’t really know or understand my truth.

To me, being vulnerable has always meant being your raw authentic self in whatever way that may be. Whether it’s telling someone how you feel about them, sharing stories of your past, talking about what makes you tick, pursuing your passions even with fear of failure, or recognizing your weaknesses and putting in the effort to build them into strengths, vulnerability is shown by everything encompassed at our core.

So to answer my own question, to be vulnerable is not the same as being weak.

In fact, the ability to be vulnerable and transparent is one of the greatest strengths one can have; it took me quite a while to understand why.

Remember how I said I used to internalize my feelings and completely suppress how I felt? Well, I found that the busier I was and the more productive I was, the more I was able to completely forget about how I felt about everything else outside of the things I was pursuing in the moment. I was numb to these feelings and my thoughts were dormant-- notice how I didn't say gone, though.

For YEARS, my coping mechanism was literally taking on the world and carrying it gracefully on my shoulders to completely avoid dealing with the bad-- procrastination and distraction all in one. And it worked for a LONG time, but going into Junior year of college, my legs started to quiver and the world I was carrying was literally sliding off of my shoulders and was THIS close to shattering into tons of tiny little broken pieces. Bad analogy, but picture it. I was not grounded or stable enough to hold it up anymore.

I was spread too thin, like paper, and there were too many things happening in my life that they no longer successfully fit on the page. Another bad analogy, but you get it.

During a conversation with a phD professor of psychology—we’ll call her Dr. Smith-- I explained to her all of the things I was doing at the time: working 2 jobs, going to school full time, serving on the executive council of my sorority and all on top of trying to actually remember to eat, bathe, sleep, etc.. The struggle.

I was overwhelmed.

Dr. Smith helped me realized that what was once my coping mechanism was now my stressor and she helped me discover why this was. She shared a TedTalk with me called "The Power of Vulnerability" by researcher and “professional story-teller”, Brene Brown. In her presentation, Brown discusses the stigmas associated with vulnerability and how individuals often perceive the dreaded word. Brown also shares some of her findings regarding commonalities and unique traits found in those who have a sense of belonging and self-worth--known as what she calls “whole-hearted” people.

"What [whole-hearted people] had in common was a sense of courage…[and] they fully embraced vulnerability" (Brown, 8:28).

To be whole-hearted meant I had to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable meant I had to be courageous enough to face my challenges head on and be accepting of my emotions.

What I learned by talking with Dr. Smith and listening to Brown’s TedTalk quite a few times, is that the ability to embrace strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, and highs and lows, gives us the POWER to be happy.

The ability to embrace strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, and highs and lows, gives us the POWER to be happy

When we can do all of this, the things around us begin to significantly improve. Our work life, our relationships, and our personal well-being are all directly impacted by our ability to face things head on, both good and bad.

So what does this all mean and why should you care?

Vulnerability is not only something that people, including myself, are often afraid of, but it is also something that people tend to avoid talking about as well.

At the end of the day, when we are vulnerable, we are in control of who we become as a result of what we feel and how we think; when we suppress our emotions and bury them in our core, we begin to lose the ability to influence and govern the outcomes of our thoughts.

Vulnerability is strength, power, and truth.

And I strive to be a whole-hearted woman who encompasses all of the above.